Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Good morning!

I was up early again today- seems to be a pattern lately. I don’t HAVE to be at work until 730- but when I get there at 7, that just means I get to leave early. YAY!

Yesterday I was at David’s daycare at 6:30- which is when they open. I haven’t been that early in sometime. Usually- BEST case scenario is 6:50 or so. So I get in there, there is another mom sitting there. Apparently nobody told the people who work there- they open at 6:30. Luckily since its in the school basement, as long as the janitor shows up on time, we can get into the building…..not to say he always does this- the kids have been stuck waiting outside in the freezing cold and/or rain before. And for this reason, I keep an extra coat in my car for David. But I digress…..

So we wait. I let the other mom know that I was early that day and if she needed to leave to get somewhere I would stay. She needed to talk to Tim when he got there anyway so we both waited. 6:45 rolls around and Tim finally shows up. Good thing I didn’t actually have to BE anywhere- on time…..*eye roll*

So today, we were ready to leave the house at 6:15. Huh? What do I do now? Well, I decided to go to the bank. Its right by the house I need to deposit something. I sit in my car digging for a pen for what feels like 5 minutes, I finally find one and fill out my deposit slip. I walk up to the door and the vestibule is locked (as always-after hours) so I turn to swipe my debit card to grant me access and the entire thing has been ripped from the wall. WTF?! There is just one sad little wire hanging down, pathetically. I took me a minute to process this. Who would do that? WHY would somebody do that? Did that work to gain them access to the vestibule? If it did- what was the point? Were you planning on taking the entire ATM machine with you? Pretty sure those are pretty difficult nuts to crack…..people confuse me.

I decided to worry about it this afternoon- after I call and complain of course.

Now I have a little time. I have to stop by the gas station anyway so even though it appears to be drizzling, I decide to run my car through the car wash. I have time to kill and its SO DIRTY, its gross, I don’t even like to touch it. Seriously. So after I pay for my stuff in the gas station I pull around to the automated car wash with my cash…..The robot screams in my face THANK YOU FOR CHOSING OUR AUTOMATIC CAR WASH PLEASE ENTER YOUR 5 DIGIT CODE OR DEPOSIT CASH. I hadn’t had caffeine yet- so she startled me and made me wince. I pull out my dollar bills that are in the best shape and tried inserting them into the machine. It doesn’t work. I tried again, different bills, nothing is working. In the meantime the robot keeps screaming at me THANK YOU FOR……etc etc.

I am getting very frustrated at this point. Why is technology trying to make my life MORE difficult?

I give up. I am just going to take David to school. Now its 6:35... by the time I get there- somebody should be there.

I drop him off and head to work (after my caffeine). I got to work about 7:09. My floor doesn’t technically open until 7:30. But as long as you have a card to swipe you can get onto the floor whenever. After 7:30 you don’t need a card. So I get onto the floor, unlock the department and decided I needed to use the restroom. Apparently in my mad rush out of the house I neglected a few things. But thankfully, nobody is even on my floor so no worries about there not being a stall available or even anybody else coming in. HOORAY! And for those of you that know where I used to work, and how difficult it was to even use the bathroom most of the time- you know, this is very exciting for me.

So I grab the key for the bathroom (yes we need a key- its locked- I think because the other half of the floor is the FBI office) and walk out to the bathroom. I unlock the door and walk in. Its dark. Very dark. As the door starts to swing shut I realize we are in the center of the building. There are no windows in here…..I reach to stop the door and I missed it. It clicks shut and it is pitch black. I don’t think I have ever been in such complete dark ever in my life. It feels like a cave. My brain is foggy, I start walking with my hands out in front of me like Helen Keller and run into the corner of the wall. Owie. I turn slightly to the right knowing that is THAT is where the paper towels are- the door must be over here….I shuffle my feet, because with my luck the cleaning people left a wet floor sign somewhere, and my clown feet WILL find it.

I imagined what it might be like when I tripped over that sign, fell forward hitting my head on the counter and passing out on the bathroom floor. How long would it take for somebody to find me? Who would find me? How would they move me? MAYBE if an FBI agent finds me she will have to go get help, and that HOT Shamar Moore- looking guy I see getting off the elevators all the time would come to rescue me. I think about throwing myself towards the sinks, but with my luck I would only knock out my teeth.

Then I remember, I still have my phone in my pocket. I use it as a nightlight to orient myself in the cave/bathroom. I look towards the door- looking for a light switch….around the sinks…..outside the bathroom. No lightswitch. I don’t understand. What am I supposed to do? Apparently the lights are automatic. They probably turn on at 7:30.

There is still business to be done so I take my make shift flashlight into the stall, lay it face up on top of the toilet paper dispenser and do what I came to do. Unfortunately my phone only stays lit for about 3 seconds, so I have to keep pushing buttons to keep the stall lit. But I managed to make it work. Technology sucks.

This must have been what Laura Ingalls felt like.