Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Good morning!

I was up early again today- seems to be a pattern lately. I don’t HAVE to be at work until 730- but when I get there at 7, that just means I get to leave early. YAY!

Yesterday I was at David’s daycare at 6:30- which is when they open. I haven’t been that early in sometime. Usually- BEST case scenario is 6:50 or so. So I get in there, there is another mom sitting there. Apparently nobody told the people who work there- they open at 6:30. Luckily since its in the school basement, as long as the janitor shows up on time, we can get into the building…..not to say he always does this- the kids have been stuck waiting outside in the freezing cold and/or rain before. And for this reason, I keep an extra coat in my car for David. But I digress…..

So we wait. I let the other mom know that I was early that day and if she needed to leave to get somewhere I would stay. She needed to talk to Tim when he got there anyway so we both waited. 6:45 rolls around and Tim finally shows up. Good thing I didn’t actually have to BE anywhere- on time…..*eye roll*

So today, we were ready to leave the house at 6:15. Huh? What do I do now? Well, I decided to go to the bank. Its right by the house I need to deposit something. I sit in my car digging for a pen for what feels like 5 minutes, I finally find one and fill out my deposit slip. I walk up to the door and the vestibule is locked (as always-after hours) so I turn to swipe my debit card to grant me access and the entire thing has been ripped from the wall. WTF?! There is just one sad little wire hanging down, pathetically. I took me a minute to process this. Who would do that? WHY would somebody do that? Did that work to gain them access to the vestibule? If it did- what was the point? Were you planning on taking the entire ATM machine with you? Pretty sure those are pretty difficult nuts to crack…..people confuse me.

I decided to worry about it this afternoon- after I call and complain of course.

Now I have a little time. I have to stop by the gas station anyway so even though it appears to be drizzling, I decide to run my car through the car wash. I have time to kill and its SO DIRTY, its gross, I don’t even like to touch it. Seriously. So after I pay for my stuff in the gas station I pull around to the automated car wash with my cash…..The robot screams in my face THANK YOU FOR CHOSING OUR AUTOMATIC CAR WASH PLEASE ENTER YOUR 5 DIGIT CODE OR DEPOSIT CASH. I hadn’t had caffeine yet- so she startled me and made me wince. I pull out my dollar bills that are in the best shape and tried inserting them into the machine. It doesn’t work. I tried again, different bills, nothing is working. In the meantime the robot keeps screaming at me THANK YOU FOR……etc etc.

I am getting very frustrated at this point. Why is technology trying to make my life MORE difficult?

I give up. I am just going to take David to school. Now its 6:35... by the time I get there- somebody should be there.

I drop him off and head to work (after my caffeine). I got to work about 7:09. My floor doesn’t technically open until 7:30. But as long as you have a card to swipe you can get onto the floor whenever. After 7:30 you don’t need a card. So I get onto the floor, unlock the department and decided I needed to use the restroom. Apparently in my mad rush out of the house I neglected a few things. But thankfully, nobody is even on my floor so no worries about there not being a stall available or even anybody else coming in. HOORAY! And for those of you that know where I used to work, and how difficult it was to even use the bathroom most of the time- you know, this is very exciting for me.

So I grab the key for the bathroom (yes we need a key- its locked- I think because the other half of the floor is the FBI office) and walk out to the bathroom. I unlock the door and walk in. Its dark. Very dark. As the door starts to swing shut I realize we are in the center of the building. There are no windows in here…..I reach to stop the door and I missed it. It clicks shut and it is pitch black. I don’t think I have ever been in such complete dark ever in my life. It feels like a cave. My brain is foggy, I start walking with my hands out in front of me like Helen Keller and run into the corner of the wall. Owie. I turn slightly to the right knowing that is THAT is where the paper towels are- the door must be over here….I shuffle my feet, because with my luck the cleaning people left a wet floor sign somewhere, and my clown feet WILL find it.

I imagined what it might be like when I tripped over that sign, fell forward hitting my head on the counter and passing out on the bathroom floor. How long would it take for somebody to find me? Who would find me? How would they move me? MAYBE if an FBI agent finds me she will have to go get help, and that HOT Shamar Moore- looking guy I see getting off the elevators all the time would come to rescue me. I think about throwing myself towards the sinks, but with my luck I would only knock out my teeth.

Then I remember, I still have my phone in my pocket. I use it as a nightlight to orient myself in the cave/bathroom. I look towards the door- looking for a light switch….around the sinks…..outside the bathroom. No lightswitch. I don’t understand. What am I supposed to do? Apparently the lights are automatic. They probably turn on at 7:30.

There is still business to be done so I take my make shift flashlight into the stall, lay it face up on top of the toilet paper dispenser and do what I came to do. Unfortunately my phone only stays lit for about 3 seconds, so I have to keep pushing buttons to keep the stall lit. But I managed to make it work. Technology sucks.

This must have been what Laura Ingalls felt like.

Thursday, February 12, 2009


You don't look a day over 29.5

Is it terrible that I LOVE that she is just a little older than me?

Note to self: only make older friends from this point out. If you're younger than me, and I already know you- no worries you're grandfathered into this new plan of mine.


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I should be placed on internet restriction

OK remember the disclaimer in one of my previous blogs about how we reserve the right to turn into impulsive 13 year olds at any moment?

Well you can stop holding your breath…..its done. We added Kelowna. It can’t be helped. Well, we can’t be helped.

This changes our hotel situation (stepping down from 5* hotels, to hooker huts) and our transportation plans…..but it will all work out in the end. Our kids wont even notice that Easter is actually on Sunday…..the Easter bunny is coming a day early this year =)

Section B. Row 3......they were too good to pass up.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Open Letter to Kyle Wilker

Dearest Kyle,

You have less class than Perez Hilton- and that’s hard to do.



Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Amex.....Its a Love/Hate thing

We’re at it again ladies and gentlemen! The New Kids are coming back!!!!

Well, not BACK, really. But close enough! There are no stops in WA or OR, so we are Canada bound in April!!!

We contemplated which shows to go to for quite a while. It was up for great debate….obviously we are going to Victoria BC…should we go to Kelowna too? I make that drive every year, we can handle it. The possibility of flying down to Atlanta to visit our friend Shana was discussed and debated.

In the end? We decided to only do ONE show for the spring tour. Last year we got totally spoiled by VIP and can’t imagine going back to regular seats again…which makes the prospect of adding additional shows that much more complicated (read: expensive). Look at us! Responsible decisions!
(lemme just add though in the interest of full disclosure- we reserve the right to completely deteriorate into impulsive 12 year olds at any moment and buy VIP to Kelowna if they happen to still be available on a day when we are feeling especially high on New Kids)

So Victoria it is! And BOY are we going to make this trip worth it. We have plans…..many MANY plans, which I will gladly share with you after our adventures are over. I told my dad exactly what our plans are and he told me I scared him a little.

Vacation days from work? Secured.

Hotels researched and booked? Well….the decision has been made, no res. YET.

Babysitter? Check!

Bitchin’ NKOTB earrings and necklace set circa 1990? Got it.

3 VIP tickets for me and the Girls? Well….kinda……

We decided that since we are only going to 1 show, we needed to make it count. We need to be online and click the buy button the MINUTE they go on sale. Front row baby!

The tickets went on sale last Friday. The entire week we debated. Who would be doing the ordering? Who has the fastest mouse finger? Dry runs were completed so we would be familiar with the process. Back up plans were in place in case that person for some explicable reason passed out at his/her desk….or got called into a meeting without notice.

None of us had the cash to purchase the tickets upfront and nobody had room enough on any one credit card to purchase all 3 tickets. What to do? No worries!! This is exactly what I have my trusty Amex for! You know….the Amex Gold card I got last year specifically for the purposes of buying New Kids tickets before the general public? It’s my backup card I only use when I have the funds to pay it right away, since dem be da rules.

So it was decided, I was ordering. All day I was getting email and text reminders. I woke up to HAPPY NEW KIDS DAY! on my phone. And received constant countdown reminders in my email. 3 hours to go! 90 minutes to go! Etc.

I logged into the website and I knew that I was racing a lot of women for these tickets. The venues are smaller, there is probably less VIP’s available and this time around everybody knows that VIP is offered, whereas last year it wasn’t common knowledge. My hands are shaking with excitement and nerves. I tried my best not to screw up. Got through the ordering process 1 minute after they went on sale. Clicked BUY and voila!


What??!!! That can’t be right. Hit back and reentered the number, clicked BUY and declined again.

Full-on Panic mode. Tried again, declined again.

I called the vendor assuming it must be something wrong with their website (they have a history). “It’s not an issue on our end- it’s with your credit card”

SHIT! Called Amex. The response I got was “you have not used your card in the past few months and so you will need to prepay this amount in order for it to be authorized” WTF? This is my backup card! The card with no limit! The card I only use when I need to, and when I can afford to pay it immediately!

Then it sunk in…we’re screwed. All day I had been stressing about getting front row. Front row. Front row. It never even crossed my mind that we wouldn’t get tickets AT ALL!


I called Missy- she was in a meeting.

I called my dad to see if he had enough room on HIS card. He didn’t answer.

I called my sister, she didn’t have enough room.

So now I am crying at my desk. It’s been an hour since they went on sale and there is nothing we could do about it. We all will have cash the next week, but by then we will be SOL- no VIP’s…. not even decent tickets will be left. And when I said we have plans…I mean really elaborate plans. How can this be happening?

I finally talked to Missy who was surprisingly calm and OK with us potentially missing the concert. Although, I think mainly she stayed calm because I was freaking out and if we both freak out- nothing could get done. She DID take her life in her hands though by calling her mother and asking to borrow her credit card for a week. Her mom hung up on her, and I am pretty sure she might have been locked out of her house when she got home.

We have a friend at Amex. Missy called her to see if she had any pull. She didn’t but suggested I demand a supervisor.

So I did. I talked to one guy for a little while- why do they make you work so hard to get to a supervisor? I held for a while and finally got on with a supervisor. She told me again, that I would have to pre-pay the amount.

Listen woman- if I could pre-pay it, I would just use my debit card to purchase them in the first place and I would have gotten FRONT ROW!

I might have sounded a little hysterical.

She kept trying. Can you pay half of it up front? No.
A little bit of it now? No.

I don’t understand WHY I am being punished for not using my card- isn’t that the responsible thing to do? See what happens when you are responsible? Nothing good comes from that. (Kelowna anyone?)

Apparently your credit limit is NOT unlimited; it’s based on what you spend. I am not sure how that works or how they explain allowing me to charge thousands of dollars to it the first week I had it. And how me paying those thousands of dollars off within 2 weeks isn’t proof enough to allow this transaction to go through.

To be fair Mrs. Crandy was very nice and sympathetic to my dilemma.

After I told her there was no way for me to pre-pay the amount today, but that I would happily pay it the following Friday, and even throw a little extra in for a “Mrs Crandy bonus”- she started working on it to see what she could do. She decided to allow the charge and set up automatic payment for the following week. THANK GOD!!!

She puts me on hold. By this point I am doing a happy dance….which can sometimes be confused with the pee-pee dance, but this was definitely happy.

When she comes back- she sounds scared. I need to work on my phone etiquette I think.

“Um….Miss Conlon??? It’s not allowing me to push the payment date out. I can only do it for today”

I was on the verge of losing it completely.

She told me that since I was so willing to set up the automatic payment, she is going to allow this purchase to be made- but I have to promise to pay it the following weekend as we discussed….I may have promised a few other things as well.

She clicked a button, I clicked BUY and we had our tickets!!! We didn’t get front row, probably not even the first 4 rows but we’re going. And the moral of this story is to appreciate what you have. I went from determined to get front row to happy we even got tickets to begin with in a matter of 2 hours.

AND at least when David’s little sister has to explain why her first name is Mrs and her middle name is Crandy, she’ll have a good story to tell.